Family

We are all born into some sort of family.  Biologically we have a father and a mother.  Or at least an X and a Y chromosome represented in the creation of ourselves.  Often times we also have biological siblings who belong to this same alchemy of genealogical stuff.  Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, all with some sort of genetic connection to one another.  This is the family that you don't get to choose.

Sometimes there's the family that we inherit when we enter into a relationship or marriage with another person.  That connection is hit or miss.  Sometimes we get lucky and sometimes we get screwed.

Then, there's the biologically unrelated people who become like family to us.  Either through common experiences, similar lifestyles, or even by happenstance. These are the folks who we choose to spend our lives with.  That, there, is part of the magic of the universe.  

My biological family is a constant.  Always has been.  There is little I need to say about that relationship.  I look like my Mom, as do my girls.  But we all have my Dad's nose, as do most of my siblings.  I like to knit, just like my Grandma, and I like to bake, just like my other Grandma.  I was fortunate enough to grow up with two sets of Grandparents who, albeit somewhat different from one another, were present and involved in my life.  I knew where I belonged with them.  Always.  And my parents have always been a stable, immutable presence as well.  But there was that one time where they opted to use a fake Christmas tree and my very foundation was shaken.  Still recovering from that.

I inherited an amazing family when I started consorting with Jake.  (We jokingly used the word "consorting" because I felt that the word "dating" was too high school.😂  And now I think we've gone way beyond consorting, but I still like how it sounds.)  Kind, accepting, comforting, and generous, these folks are.  Not just to me, but to my kids.  I hit the jackpot here for sure.  Yes, but I also know what it's like to be on the other end of the spectrum with inherited "family".  Unfortunately, so, too,  do my kids.  This stark contrast is how I know I hit the jackpot this time around.  Never will I take this bond for granted.  The love and gratitude that I feel for this family helps soften and erase some of the abandonment, disregard, and hostility that used to be at the forefront of the lineage I came into years before.

My friends....

These are the ones who have driven me home and brought me whisky and cake and yarn and coffee.  These are the ones who have listened to my complaints and offered advice and danced with me to our favorite songs at 2:00 AM.  These people have cleaned my chimney and watched my kids for me when I needed a break and tried out the new sheets on my bed with me.  We have run together and had couple's massages together and traveled together.  We have cried and laughed, sometimes until we peed our pants (not me though, I have the lady parts of steel--kegels). We have dealt with tragedies and happiness and fear and crisis.  I've never been alone with these people. " Friends" is a word that doesn't quite grasp the magnitude of their position in my life.  These are my chosen family.

My birthday is swiftly approaching and I tend to get a little introspective around this time every year.  As I look ahead to my next trip around the sun I feel such gratitude for the good that exists in my life, both the experiences that I have had and the people who are around me.  I truly am lucky.  I hope to let go of the things and people that aren't in agreement with what I intend for the future.  

Oh, there is still so much fun to be had!  And so much "family" to be a part of it.