What Day is It?

I'm beginning to lose track of what day it is.  Probably much like every other citizen of the world right now.  I've cooked and baked and sewed and knit and gardened and napped and watched TV and worked a little and homeschooled a little and run some and hung out at home a lot.  All of this unencumbered time has allowed me to do some uninterrupted thinking too.  Maybe even a little introspection?

Scary thought, right?!

If you would have asked me last year at this time what I would be doing today I highly doubt ANY part of my current existence would be part of that answer.  Seriously.  I don't think there's any part of the present that I could have anticipated.  And you know what?  I'm so thankful that it all unfolded (even this Corona/Covid thing) without any assistance from me.  It was all some magical, providential timing.  I didn't push or plead or manipulate a thing.

I think my faith in the universe has been restored.

I'm old and you know what they say about old dogs and new tricks.  Gosh, once I write those words out I realize how overused this cliche is!  But it's still such an accurate analogy that I can't find anything that could better take its place.   We're going with it then.   I'm old.  And I've learned plenty of new tricks in the past year.

I've learned how to fall in love and create a beautiful life with an amazing person.  I've learned how to see that life through a different lens and adjust accordingly.  I've learned about different things to consider when parenting my kids.  I've learned about letting things go.  I've learned how to let someone into my life and how to trust that they will do anything to help me become a better version of myself.  I've learned how to ignore people and things and not respond all the time.  I have learned that I am not always right. Ahem.  I have been beautifully humbled.

Yes, I'm old, but I'm still learning.

Have you ever tried to tighten the cap on a bottle or the threads connecting hoses together?  You know how sometimes you get those threads off kilter?  Cross-threaded?  It might all look ok to the naked eye and it might even appear that everything is in working order.  But then there's a little bit of pressure that builds up or a little heavy usage and WHAM!  everything explodes in a glorious catastrophe.

Up until recently, I think that's how I have been accustomed to living.  Things look fine to the outside world, but inside, I was not threaded right.  Life had a way of blowing my cross-threaded existence apart.  I feel like I've been screwed back together correctly for the first time ever.  Maybe this realization and the accompanying feelings can be attributed to age and experience or maybe it's just some sort of magic.  (I like to think it's definitely magic.) All I know is that the wonky bits are fitting correctly.

I'm still learning about life and stuff.  I honestly hope that part never ends.  But I'm also breathing a sigh of pure contentment and enjoying a level of fulfillment that was incomprehensible until now.

I feel such gratitude for all of it.