Unlearning

 I'm going to turn 50 this year. I'm honestly ok with this fact because I feel pretty great, both physically and mentally.  I can still run a few miles and I can do real pushups like a badass.  I do have ridiculous random aches and pains on occasion, but hey, I am almost 50!   

I also feel like by 50 years old a person should have gained a lot of wisdom and experience. I guess that truth is why I'm contented with my mental health right now too. Wisdom and experience...I'm all over that stuff.

So what kind of wisdom can an old crone like me share with the world? What have I learned in the course of my half-century existence?  

Well, first, I don't think we should ever consider ourselves finished with learning. Never. There is always something new that we can learn. There are countless new facts, new people, new ideas, new methods, and new mindsets to assimilate into our current lives. The key is, you must be humble enough to admit that your way isn't always the better way. You also need to embrace the concept of flexibility (I can still do a cartwheel!) and allow yourself to evolve into life.  

Wow. That sounds awfully "woo-woo," doesn't it?

But seriously, being open to change and learning new things is paramount to living a happy life.  

In the past several years I have learned so much. Hell's bells, I think I learn new stuff every day! I've learned how to live life alone and how to create a life with an amazing man. I've learned how to let go of an old mindset and embrace a new reality. I know how to wind hoses the correct way, wrap extension cords so they don't tangle, and fold towels efficiently (instead of just throwing them in a basket). I have mastered the weedeater and driven a tractor. I have learned how to let go of people and things who don't deserve a place in my life. I have discovered the elusive art of boundaries. I have learned how to work full-time and still manage my home well. I have learned how to let my kids start lives of their own. I am (still) learning patience.  

The list of what I have learned is nearly infinite and I couldn't even begin to list a fraction of it all.  Some of it is practical and functional and some are serious and deep with significance.  I'm grateful for all of it.

But you know what I think is the most important bit of wisdom I have learned? The one thing that I really want to share? That thing is the idea of unlearning. 

I  think that unlearning ideas, mindsets, patterns, and even people, is probably the most vital piece of wisdom I have found yet.

Unlearning stuff is hard! It can be uncomfortable too. I think unlearning absolutely requires the notion of flexibility. And probably a good dose of humility as well.

By unlearning, I have learned how to let go. To just let stuff go and allow for something different (and better) to emerge.  

There is a lovely sort of surrender in unlearning. It is the best lesson I have learned. And it just took 50 years to acquire this wisdom.