How To Choose

I went camping this weekend.  More specifically I went camping, with kids, by myself, at the end of a very curvy and steep (can you say cliff?) road.  Well, that's not a completely accurate statement.  I actually went camping with a load of very good friends but the driving part and the kids part is totally true.

 I detest packing and unpacking a car.  I stress over the planning of the logistics of a trip.  I don't really like traveling by myself.  I really, really dislike driving steep, cliff-edged roads.  Coordinating kids and their ensuing safety, eating, and sleeping needs whilst traveling causes enough anxiety to render me unable to enjoy myself.  And don't even get me started on the chaos that inevitably greets me once I return home.

But I did it.  I camped with kids and fed them football field nachos for dinner.  No one showered for days and I cannot begin to imagine how many cans of soda were consumed.  I drank beer in a parking lot and bourbon under the stars.  I even drove winding roads, albeit slowly, and got us where we needed to be.  In one piece!

I noticed on the way home that the vineys are starting to turn.  And I remembered how Bill would always find them at his job and cut several branches to bring home to me.  In fact, I don't think I considered Fall to have begun until he'd brought me home some of those maple branches.

Wham.  And the sadness slips in again.

A while back, I had someone send me a little blurb they'd found on Facebook probably.  Something about choosing a person who wanted to take care of you, not materialistically, but someone to take care of your heart and your soul.  Those maples made me think about those words.

Maybe we should choose to have people in our lives who will take the time to cut the branches or pick the wild flowers just because they know it will make us smile.  And maybe we should choose the person who will bring us licorice or gummy bears just because they know it's our favorite candy.  Or the one who will sweep or vacuum the mess off the floor because they know how much it annoys you and prevents you from relaxing on the sofa.  The one who knows your favorite song and remembers the name of the dog you had as a kid.  We should surround ourselves with the people who just sit and listen to our talking because they understand that putting those words into the air takes away some of their sting.

I guess it all comes down to finding people who want to quietly bring comfort and kindness and happiness into your life.  With no agenda.  Just to see you happy.  It seems like a simple idea but I'm finding that it's rather rare to find people like this.  Seems like there's an awful lot of selfish, cold, blind folks who can't figure out why their lives are so empty and sad.

And I think about those words again.  Heart and soul.  Fill them up with unselfish love.    

I do believe I can find some of those vine maples to cut by myself.  And I'm pretty sure that this time I'll share them with someone else.