Dear Jack,
I remember the morning you were born. It was cold, like REALLY cold, and I was sure your Dad would slide off the road as he drove us to the hospital. And then he passed the cop doing 95 and I told him not to slow down or you would be born along the side of Highway 22. You were born quickly and with little effort on my part but you weren't real happy to be crossing over into this world. Took you a while before you settled in and found your place. But you did and you grew and you loved trucks and your hammer and tightening loops.
I wish things were different for you (but really that's not for me to decide) and you had someone better equipped than me to help you navigate your life. I'm not so good at trucks and engines and smelly socks. I can't play catch with you anymore and you know how afraid I am of driving up on logging roads. I can't teach you to fly fish and I'm not a very good shot with a shotgun. I get confused between a log loader and a shovel (is there a difference?) and the maintenance of power saws is beyond me. Oh sure, I've spent many an hour around 18 year old boys, but that's kinda the problem--I remember all too clearly what you guys are all about. Your Pop broke me in on all things boy. And I'm still scared by y'all.
But I can share with you a few lessons I've learned about life:
1. Don't be an asshole. To anyone--animals, little kids, stupid people, old people, people who truly are assholes. Treat everyone (everyone) with respect and kindness and take any opportunity that presents itself to do something nice for another person. No good deed goes unnoticed by the universe.
2. Know your boundaries. And stick with them. Don't let anyone else determine your path or your value. Know when you need to walk away from situations or people who don't want to understand you. Those are the kind of people who only listen to you to reply not to truly comprehend you. Your values and ideals belong only to you and as long as you don't hurt anyone else with your choices, stick by them and know where your margins are. Keep those boundaries well-defined.
3. Take the time to have fun. You have the rest of your life to adult. Life is about the memories and experiences you have by yourself and with others. I know your Dad always wished that he would have played more baseball and went on the hunting trips and stopped to fish the little streams along the way. Take all the opportunities for fun that present themselves.
4. Be a good friend even when it's hard. Put your friends before yourself. Remember who was there for you when things were rough and try to do the same. Those folks are your people, your tribe. Cherish them.
5. Work hard and always do things the right way. Don't be a half-asser. If you commit to doing something follow it through to completion. Even when it totally sucks. Remember Grandpa Bill's words of wisdom: "What we have here is a half ass job."
6. Be patient. I'm still learning this one and it's hard. But don't rush things or accept less than you deserve out of impatience. What is supposed to come to you will come in the right time. Sit back and trust the process.
7. Clean up after yourself. If you get something out, put it away when you're done with it. Replace what you use up. Fix what you break. Wash what you make dirty. Try to leave things nicer than you found them.
8. Never underestimate the power of a few honest, well-chosen words to make some one's day brighter. And never forget that everyone appreciates a special little treat once in a while. That's why your Dad always brought me a Skor bar when he came home from the grocery store. It wasn't so much the candy as it was the thought and effort that went into it. Listen closely to people's words and remember those little things for down the road. (I gave someone some Clorox wipes one time bc they said they made life easier for cleaning up a boys' bathroom)
9. Never stop learning new things and never be unteachable. You will never be too old to learn something from another person. Be open to those opportunities. And don't let pride get in your way either.
10. Remember that you were created to be on this earth by something bigger than yourself. Be humbled by that thought but always remember that you were created to be the only you, and you are here for a definite reason. I'll say it again--be humbled by this thought.
I'm sure there's a few more I could tell you but these 10 will have to do for today. I love you, bud, and I know you'll make your Dad and I proud. Happy birthday!
Love, Mom
No comments:
Post a Comment